Being a mother of two at 31 years old feels like quite the accomplishment. However I am constantly asked about "when will I have my next child?" “You're still young, why not just have one more” they ask. I just simply reply, I am 31 and done....I get a blank stare of confusion in return. Most of the time I'm asked by coworkers sometimes family, even strangers during a small talk conversation. Since this seems to be quite the topic, I figured I share a more detailed version of why I'm 31 and done having kids:
I was a teenage mother
I gave birth to my daughter when I was 19 years old and was a single mother
for the first 5 years. That experience definitely accelerated my maturity, but because of that my "fun years" were stripped. This is honesty at its core because so many mothers are afraid to admit that. It doesn't mean you regret having your child, however it is being realistic about your feelings. I've always looked at my life as if it was in hyper speed. I had to grow up quickly, but that never scared me. I've never been one to back down from a challenge, so embracing my life as it was came quite natural. With that said, being a teenage mom took everything I had to be responsible, strong, and resilient, which left no time for all the self-discovery years. As my children get older, I'm finding more time for self-discovery. I read more, attend events that interest me, I am finding out new things about myself because I have a little more time to do so. This is so important to have at some point in your life.
I am enjoying my children
I have a 12 year old daughter and my son is 4. They are at this incredibly fun age and I am just enjoying this time with them. When your kids are really young, you find enjoyment of course, however it’s something about when they get to the age where you can relax with a movie and snacks. Or when my daughter can have a mature conversation about current events with me and we just can vibe to music together. These are such special moments that I can't get enough of! Watching them grow into these amazing human beings makes me so proud and I get to witness them learn more about the world. In my early twenties, yes, my life was in hyper speed and had to learn how to slow down tremendously. The advantage to learning to slow down was being able to be fully present for every moment with my children now.
Society can kiss my grits
Society has mixed reviews on baby making these days. Millennials are waiting until 30 or sometimes later to have kids, which is totally cool in my book, but the people I encounter think I'm included in the millennial trend. Ummm, nope. I have to be honest, I sometimes dance with the idea of having more children and these are the times I miss my children being babies. I miss their diapers, milk breathe, and baby lotion smell. I miss that so much sometimes. This is natural. I won’t let society dictate my uterus!
I would love to hear from you! Have you decided to not have anymore children or maybe not to have kids at all? Please let me know in the comments below.